20 Oct 2006
You know I was so glad to see the doctor at the Cancer Centre this afternoon. I didn’t wait long to see him. He saw the scans and felt that the fastest way to get results is to do a keyhole surgery to get samples of the affected parts of the lungs for further checks. He also explained that it’s a safe surgery and hospitalisation is about 5-6 days. The doctor knew I had been ‘bounced around’ and assured me he’ll do what he can to help. He even told me if hubby wants to spend time with me, it would be better for him to take leave when I go home. That’s a very practical suggestion. So far I’ve not had any doctors concerned about when the spouse should take leave etc. He was very empathetic and I know I can trust him. At least what he said made good sense. As I proceeded to leave his office, he reminded me to hang in there. PTL!!! I really need encouraging doctors at this time. Surgery is next Wednesday, 25 October at 8.30am. I’ll be in the hospital on Tuesday afternoon for preparation for the surgery.
As I waited to see the doctor in the afternoon, I was reading ‘Above Rubies’, a magazine on parenting and families. I read some articles on what healthy food mothers could prepare for their children. Suddenly I realise that these were things I was so passionate about a few months back until I discovered the lump in the armpit, and I am not able to do it for them now. I can still do it but I thought better to relax and look at what’s priority. These thoughts brought tears to my eyes and I had to control them until I find a toilet cubicle. I was so thankful for some private moments to cry my heart out to the Lord. I want to do things for my children, I want to hold and hug and kiss them till they yell, I want to spend time with my husband, I want to tell of the Lord’s goodness, I want HEALING!!!!! I continue to pray for healing and did the rest tonight – the whole family – we just spent time in my air-con room playing light sticks in the dark and rolling on the bed. They did most of the playing and me, most of the hugging and kissing 😉
I was again reminded to focus on God’s plan for me, and not be deceived by the evil one. As I read the bible, He gave me assurances:
In my distress I cried to the LORD, And He heard me.
by His stripes we are healed
Isaiah 40:31 – a friend reminded me of this verse; it’s one of my favourite
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
1 Peter 5:10-11
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
*we will spend good time as a family before my surgery
*wisdom and skillfulness for the surgeon
*tests results will be accurate and will tell the doctors what’s the next step
*speedy recovery from the surgery and early discharge
*strength for my parents who’ll help me take care of the children while I’m in hospital
*strength and peace for hubby who has to be mom and dad to the children while I’m warded
*a car seat for Li-Ann (now 21 months) – if you know of anyone who does not mind giving away a car seat, in good condition, that can be used until the child is 4yo, please let me know; we need this car seat in my mom’s car
Please give thanks:
*hubby can send me to hospital and pick me up and not have to take leave
*I’m going in as a subsidised patient
*Li-Ann has been granted leave from school until such time when I’m able to send her back again; the Principal has been very kind and encouraging
*loving and supportive husband
*postive and helpful parents and in-laws
*three beautiful and wonderful children who are real blessings
*many friends and churchmates who love me and are praying for me and are ever ready to extend their help
I’m fine. Really. I just had to sort out my emotions. The Principal was very wise to pray against any depression – the Holy Spirit must have prompted her to do so 🙂 If not for the Lord, I don’t know where or what state I’ll be. I am reminded of a song
My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it’s in You
I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life, with all of my strength
All my hope is in You
May this song encourage you too.
PS If you wish to buy foodstuff for me, please do not buy chicken or fish essence. I would prefer fruits or vegetables.