6 December 2006
Thank you for praying for me. I’ve always believed and still believe that the reason why I’m still here and doing well is because all of you are praying for me. I am so thankful that my faithful Father in heaven hears all of you and has been very gracious and merciful unto me.
I’m doing well. Monday was wonderful as I was able to catch up with two friends. It’s so good to meet up with good friends and just talk about anything under the sun. I’m convinced that talking helps me A LOT. It helps me to think through things, reflect on things and this week, I realise that it helps to DISTRACT me. I thought it was good that the nurse who took my blood asked, just before she took my blood, what I did during the weekend. So as I was telling her that we went to Seletar Reservoir for a picnic, she had already taken my blood. WAH!!! She is very skillful and efficient. Yes I would recommend Seletar Reservoir for picnics or even BBQ. We saw a couple of families doing that. The only thing is there’s no public bathrooms there. So the nearest is at Orchid Country Club. Heehee…
I thought I took my treatment better this time round. My friend was there to talk and listen and I thought it didn’t take me so long to sit through that 1/2h – not that 1/2h is long but it can be when it’s not the most pleasant thing I wish to do. I managed to eat a little something for dinner when I came home. I went to bed early and only threw up once in the middle of the night. I had to go back yesterday for a follow-up check for my surgery wounds. I had wished to just sit and vegetate at home but my oncologist thought it’s best to go so the surgeon could close the loop. So, I’m a good patient who should follow doctor’s orders right? The surgeon was very happy with how I’m recovering from my wound and he’ll see me in 10 months time. I’m so touched by his sincerity and knowing what’s important to me. He even remembered a thank you card I gave him a month back and he thanked me for it. It’s amazing as not many doctors, I mean BUSY doctors, bother with such things. Plus I didn’t give it to him personally; it was through a nurse. I thank God for him. His three children are blessed to have a father like him.
After seeing the surgeon, my friend and I went outdoors to Botanic Gardens for lunch. I was so glad to take a breather outdoors. I ate a huge piece of pastry and it tasted SSSSOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!! Then we chatted some more. I told hubby that if I crave for that pastry again, he’ll have to go there to get it. Botanic Gardens cafe has no other branches. Heehee…For that morning, at least I wasn’t thinking of what I can or can’t eat or when I’ll throw up etc. Therefore I conclude that it’s better that I have friends go with me for my treatment. Sorry hubby. I’m sure you can understand – you can yak with me when I come home. So I’ve already ‘chupped’ my next friend to go with me. I really really need the distraction. My next treatment will be on 26 Dec. PTL!!!!
I was also very encouraged when my oncologist told me that I’m doing well – my white blood count is very good and he’s happy that I’m finding ways to cope with my nausea and fatigue etc. Oh ya I forgot to say that I went wearing my new hat. The doctor said it’s nice too. (Must take a photo with my hat.) Remember all that HAIR? I got a free haircut from hubby during the weekend. Not that I’m courageous. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out but I felt it’s really easier for everyone when I don’t have to worry about HAIR all over. And it sure feels COOL without hair. I think the Singapore government did the right thing to get the NS men to cut their hair short. But during the night, I’ve to cover my head too. It’s COLD!!! John and Rebecca thought I didn’t look good bald but I assure them it’ll grow back and really, that’s not the most important thing now. I’m so thankful I can focus on more important things. My mom was the one who was not used to me wearing hubby’s hanky as a bandana at home. I also had to assure her that I’m really OK without them for now.
I was asking the doctor what he thought of me going outdoors. He said I can do anything I want but I just need to keep away from hospitals where there are people with infection and fevers. That’s FANTASTIC news!!!! He said I could go shopping too. But hubby still has to give permission leh!!! So, anyone wants to date me? I’m AVAILABLE!!!!! Oops…hubby also reading this email hor??
The couple of nights during the weekend as I spend time with the Lord, I was reading on Revelation 4 and 5. Revelation 4 shows what’s in the throne room. Do take some time to read through, with an open mind. Let’s also read with the perspective that we do not know everything about heaven and God and because His ways are not our ways, we may not understand fully what’s written. As you read, ask God to speak to you. It helps if you can draw it out.
1After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter.
2And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.
3And he that sat was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald.
4And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment; and they had on their heads crowns of gold.
5And out of the throne proceeded lightnings and thunderings and voices: and there were seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God.
6And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.
7And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.
8And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, LORD God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.
9And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever,
10The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
11Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.
What’s important to me as I reflect is that EVERYHING else in existence is most accurately described only in its relationship to the throne of God. I thought what Beth Moore says in my devotion is very true:
‘Much of humanity’s trouble stems from our naturally insatiable self-centredness. We often see ourselves as the centre of the universe and tend to describe everything else in reference to ourselves rather than God…..Although this response is natural, in perpetual practice self-absorption makes us miserable. In some ways human egocentricism shows our lust for omnipotence. We want to be our own god and have all power. Our first reaction might be to deny we’ve ever had such a desire. Meanwhile, many of us take immediate responsibility for handling most of our problems in our midst, changing most of the people we know, and feeding our control addiction with the drug of manipulation. Simply put, we try to play God, and frankly, it’s exhausting. No wonder God never sleeps, nor does He slumber (Psalm 121:3)! ….We view life more accurately when we learn to view it increasingly through the vantage point of the One who spoke it into existence.’
I was to consider my three biggest challenges and to bring them into the the throne room as well. Laying them down before my God, so omnipotent, one who doesn’t slumber or sleep and one who NEVER vacates His throne is tremendous comfort to me. That was the night I was also pondering over how Li-Ann’s body will respond if given the TB medication. I pray that God will give us wisdom. I find rest as I lay my heavy heart at His feet.
My study of Revelation 5 on the Lamb, Jesus Christ, also highlighted Revelation 13:8 (the second part)
…..the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.
This is new. How come I didn’t know there’s this verse in the Bible? This means that even when Adam and Eve sinned, it was no surprise to God. Of course. He’s God. He knows everything – past, present and future. There’s surely no mistake in His plan. He’s in Perfect control. It was so wonderful to know that on the eve of my treatment. I rested, knowing even my treatment the next day is in God’s hands.
My friends, there’s ALWAYS hope in the Lord. Approach His throne with confidence and lay all your challenges at His feet. Don’t let Satan deceive you. Don’t give in to your flesh. We have a BIG God. Nothing is too difficult for Him.