20 July 2006
It’s coming to 4 months since the surgery and I’m doing well. Basically things have returned to normal.
However just tonight as I was showering, I decided to check myself, as now I frequently do, and I found a lump on my right armpit. That’s the same side where I did the mastectomy. In fact I just went for a doctor’s appointment this Monday, 17 July and the doctor checked me but she didn’t find anything. I’m not sure about the lump but will try to see the doctor tomorrow. Please pray for God’s protection and assurance.
23 July 2006
Thank you so much for praying. I’m so thankful that I sent out the email on Thursday night. I was initially wondering if I could sleep. Anyway I was very tired so I slept like a log. Heehee….I believe God has heard your prayers and He gave me peace.
I tried to call the surgeon in the hospital but he was not in. I have one of the plastic surgeons HP number and I thought I’ll give it a try. I’m so thankful that she picked up the phone and she was very kind to hear me out and she told me to go and see her in the afternoon, without an appointment. She also told me that the surgeon is away overseas.
I went to school with LA on Friday morning with a heavy heart, still thinking about the lump. I was disappointed that the 3 therapists that LA was supposed to see all went for a meeting outside the school. I felt it was a wasted trip. So I spent time with her teacher in class, getting her to explore and play. The teacher and I talk more like friends and she apologised as she woke up with a headache in the morning and may speak incoherently. I told her we’ll take it easy and carry out the activities in class. I also shared with her abt my lump and my appointment with the doctor in the afternoon. She then shared that she also heard recent news that a friend of hers in her 30s has been diagonsed with ovarian cancer in the terminal stage. That might be why she didn’t sleep well n got the headache in the morning. She confessed her dread of going to school that day and still having to be very professional for her first class in the morning (LA is her 2nd student in the morning). She knew that she could talk to me openly and not having to put up a front. I realise the Lord brought me there to share her burden. I thank God for that opportunity. Please pray for her and her friend.
I met with the doctors in the afternoon, one of whom I just met on Monday when I went for a review. She checked me then but admited that she won’t poke so far into my underarm to see if there are any lumps. They gave me 2 possiblities 1. it could be another lymph node that’s swollen 2. it is a reaction to the surgery. They didn’t want to do anything and suggested that I see the surgeon, who was away for a whole month and is returning early part of next week. Thank God for that!! I’m scheduled to see him on Wednesday morning. And the plastic surgeon was so nice-she felt unable to encourage me and told me not to think about it. I appreciate her kind gesture. Frankly I’m not thinking much about it right after I see them.
I feel peace. While I was upset that my routine is being interrupted, I realise the Lord may have a lesson for me to learn. I learnt a few things:
1. In time to come, I may wake up one day and find lumps and this may be a start to get use to something uncertain like this. It’s better to find out than never to know. And then to face it.
2. I thank God for many who love me and are praying for me. I really don’t know how to thank all of you enough. It reminds me that we cannot live alone. Otherwise we’ll become easy targets for the evil one.
3. It keeps me on my toes. So I should be watching and praying and not take things for granted, particularly of late when we’ve got a new cell group started and P1 registration is near. Must remember to wear my armour (Ephesians 6:10-20).
4. Allow myself to be interrupted with joy and not dread. I’m praying for a willing heart to receive what God has to teach me.
5. God knows me and He’s in TOTAL control. AMEN!!!
Thank you so much for remembering me and my family. I feel very blessed. Thank you for the phone calls, sms and emails. I appreciate your love.
Will update after I see the surgeon next Wednesday.