God Will Lead The Way

2 November 2006

Dear friends

Some of you must be wondering what’s the latest. At this point in time, frankly, I also do not know what’s the latest. The report for the surgery is not out yet as I discovered on Tuesday when I was supposed to get the results. It should be out by the end of the week. Meanwhile the wound is healing well and I’m supposed to take many deep breaths a day.

In any case, I was rather burdened yesterday as I had to decide where I’ll have my treatment. Some of the treatment/followup items are as follows:
1. Chemotherapy
2. Radiotherapy
3. Drug for lung infection
4. Herceptin – required if further tests on the maglinant lymph nodes shows HER 2 +ve (believe it’s one of those cancer markers); current I’m borderline +ve
5. Blood tests
6. CT Scans
7. X-rays
8. MRI

I have 3 options where to go for for treatment:
1. NUH
2. SGH
3. Private doctor

It’s difficult to go with the private doctor as I will only get medishield and medisave coverage for Chemo and Radio treatments and the rest will still be private rates. We are of the view that it’s best if everything is under one roof. I was up against a couple of walls while waiting to speak with the surgeon at SGH for a referral letter and that really caused my head to feel very heavy. Of course going back to NUH will be most convenient but I’m not comfortable with the lung doctor and the cancer doctor is alright. I was thankful that the nurse from SGH called at noon and told me that the doctor has wrote a referral letter for me. I gave her the names of 2 oncologists and told her that I’ll see the one with the earliest available appointment. So the appointment happens to be on 6 November. I believe the results of the surgery wll be out by then. That’s also the day where I need to remove the last of my sutures.

As my head weighed in heaviness, I cried out to the Lord and He worked amazingly – definitely no coincidence:
1. I realise that in spite of the weaknesses of the doctors/nurses/public hospital system, God has protected me for the last few months. Regardless of where I receive treatment, my trust is in Him, not in man.
2. Friend #1 suggested that I remain still before the Lord and don’t do anything just for that day. She was sure God will speak to me. And God brought by Friend #2.
3. I met with Friend #2 that day and he shared his views very objectively and at the same time, saw my needs. He said that while it’s good of doctors to be empathetic, it’s also important that they are competent. In addition, it’s important to have a doctor I’m comfortable with so that my treatment is made more bearable. Finally, with my finances I can choose my doctors; I don’t have to accept what I’m given. I appreciate his perspective – at least it’s not a no-way out situation. What he said made me reflect on those times when I look forward to my appointments and those times when I didn’t. I really didn’t want to drag my feet around for the next year.
4. Friend #3 reminded me that everything will happen in God’s own time and it’s important that I rest in the Lord. Something I’m still learning.
5. God sent 3 other friends on the same day so I could talk out my thoughts. He knew that’s how I worked things out best and everything was much clearer by bedtime.

Isn’t God WONDERFUL???? I was also reminded when I went for healing ministry that I’m the apple of God’s eye and I am precious to Him. I was again encourged to take hold of the authority as a child of God when I pray for myself and the family. Hubby went with me and he is also learning to pray with authority. I tell you – it WORKS!!!! On 2 occasions when I was upset and frustrated just during the past 2 days, he prayed for me and the next minute, there was peace. I then saw the importance of spiritual authority and leadership in the family. Please continue to pray that God will assure hubby of His full control and teach him how to pray for the family. This evening as I spend time with some ladies, we listened to this CD by Dr S. M. Davis ‘Why Satan Wants Your Firstborn and What To Do About It?’ I must say it was very interesting. I learnt that our ‘firsts’ are very important to God. And that may be the answer to my prayer about John’s behaviour of late. God has also assured me that my children will continue to grow well, especially Li-Ann, and there’s no need to worry about them. Li-Ann’s teachers in school and even the PT at NUH felt that she is a star pupil. I thank God that she is doing so well. I thank God Li-Ann is my STAR 🙂

So I want to rest in the Lord and let Him lead the way. I’m reminded of Proverbs 3:5-8

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.

May God encourage you as you walk close to Him.  Thank you for praying for me.


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