14 Sep 2006

Hi everyone!!!

How’s your week? Tomorrow it’s Friday. Thank God it’s Friday!!!! I’m thankful because Chee Meng would be home for about half a day on Saturday. I look forward to my beloved coming home. What about you? Is there something you can look forward to this weekend?

I’m recovering well from surgery. Still praying that the body will adjust to having less lymph nodes in the right arm. There’s some fluid accumulation but it’s not bothering me as much. It’s like having more fats at the side. I have also put on 1kg since the surgery. This is like keeping track of weight gain during pregnancy. Hee hee…

1. Relationship with the medical team

I met with the surgeon yesterday on the biopsy results. He took out 14 lymph nodes. Out of these, 9 have been found to be malignant. That is more than half….ooooooooo….He was cautious this time and did a more thorough level 3 clearance. We discussed and are of the view that this is not a case of relapse and is probably related to the lumps in my breast previously. Generally, having so many lymph nodes affected could possibly have happened over the course of about a year. The team could not understand why the sentinel lymph node was clear and yet these other lymph nodes are affected. Maybe the sentinel is not doing its job???!!! They thought it’s strange and so do I. So should I say they were not thorough in their previous checks? I was told that as mine was a Stage 0 cancer, they would not usually bother with a sentinel lymph node check but they did it for me anyway.

Anyhow, we’ll just move on from here. He’s proposing radiotherapy, chemotherapy and hormonal therapy. I will be meeting up with two oncologists to discuss the treatment process and impact in 2 weeks time. Chee Meng would have gone back to work and would go with me on that day. I also had a chance to talk to one of the nurses about the treatment. She suggests that during chemotherapy, while immunity is usually low during the first seven days, the other days are fine and routines should be as normal as possible. Places that are crowded or where viruses are more rampant should be avoided.

I appreciate what the doctors and nurses are doing for me. I know that some of them are praying for me too. I’ve got myself more friends 🙂

2. Relationship with my mom

My mom is doing a fantastic job of handling the children, be it their meals or other basic needs.  She loves to read to them and has even got Rebecca speaking more Mandarin. I should thank a friend who suggested that grandmothers can also homeschool. I’m seriously praying about this now. She is settling into my routine very well and since I’ve got most of my meals taken care of at this point in time, I’m focusing on getting my mom familiar with my home, especially my kitchen. She has also come to realise why I choose to do things in a certain way or why/how I discipline my children. I’m so thankful that we are spending more time together and sharing about more things. In fact I just taught my mom how to make bread today. She’s picking up fast. Looks like I can delegate this in no time too 😉 While I have shared Christianity with my parents before, a friend suggests sharing with my mom the full gospel again. Pray for a good time. Pray for her salvation.

3. Relationship with Chee Meng

I guess absence does make the hearts grow fonder, although I won’t prefer him to travel. Chee Meng’s reservist will end on 23 Sep, not 30 Sep as I had thought. Thank God it’s only 2 weeks. It’s not very taxing for him, just long hours protecting his own camp at Clementi, which is less than half an hour drive from home. He could come home on some evenings. Another piece of good news – he got $200 from his IPPT. PTL!!! I’m thankful that we had time to talk and share in spite of his reservist. For me, I must learn to appreciate my hubby more, to say ‘I love you’ more, to hug and kiss him more and to submit as a wife should. I pray that the Lord will guide him as the spiritual head of the household.

4. Relationship with the children

I continue to thank God that the children are a real blessing. I thank God for my mom seeing to their needs and both of us are enjoying them together, especially Li-Ann. She is super adorable now 🙂 We finally remembered to weigh her. She is 8.75kg. WOW!!! We celebrate!!! Praying for her steady growth and preparing for another celebration as she hits 9kg. She went for her eye check yesterday. The doctor said that her vision is stable. She is curious and mentally very alert. He will assess her vision in about 6-8 months time to determine the status of her myopia. I pray the Lord will give her perfect vision and she won’t need glasses.

5. Relationship with God

I thank God that my computer recovered so I can send out this update to you. Otherwise I may have to wait till Saturday when Chee Meng checks it out. PTL!!

I’m starting another devotion by Beth Moore – ‘Beloved Disciple’. It’s a character study on John. I picked this out during a book sale in June because I thought after I’ve done it, I can share with my son, John. But it’s speaks to me so clearly now. I was led to reflect on a few things:

a) Am I threatened by Jesus and His desire for me to follow Him with complete abandon? Perhaps. Perhaps there’s a fear of lack of control. Perhaps there’s a fear of change in status quo. Perhaps I do not know how to receive graciously. I’m still asking the Lord….

b) Beth Moore writes ‘Every time God has prepared us with His Word and gotten us to a point that we can receive a hard pill to swallow from Him, healing has already begun. Once He has confronts us, we never need to be overwhelmed by how far we have to go. If we’ve heard him through His Word, healing has already begun. He is the Panpharmacon (a salve for every sore).’ This is so comforting. I thank God for being my Panpharmacon. I’ve learnt a new word too.

c) As I read about how in some instances, Jesus only took Peter, James and John with Him, I realise that He is perhaps taking me behind ordinary boundaries. But with that, comes responsibility of what I’ve learnt. It’s exciting yet daunting.

d) Or am I asking of Jesus as James and John asked ‘Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask?’

Read this in context – Mark 10:35-45

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

“What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

“We can,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Perhaps I should be asking ‘Teach me to do for You whatever You ask’?

I was reminded when I went for healing on Tuesday evening that whatever the Lord chooses to do, it’s my relationship with Him that is of primary importance. And I only need to concentrate on being in the centre of His will. I only need to seek His face…what a timely reminder. Yes I need to deepen my relationship with the Lord. When I am right with Him, all other relationships will fall into place.

Pray that I’ll seek Him regarding the treatment options and for Chee Meng and I to be in agreement.

Seeking my Lord,


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