Decisions II – Warfare

24 Mar 2006

Dear all

Usually I write to ask all of you to pray mostly for Li-Ann but I this time I will covet your prayers for our whole family, especially for myself.  I write this email with peace in my heart. While the matter is serious, I thank God for the peace He has given me.

Remember the lump I found on my right breast? I went back yesterday to NUH to hear the results of the biopsy. What they have found are precancer cells in the lump. Medically termed as ductal carcinoma in situ or DCIS. I also did a mammogram n it’s confirmed that whatever bad cells there are contained within the milk ducts. The doctors gave me the option of either removing the lump or a mastectomy, ie removing the affected breast. Follow-up treatment includes radiotherapy n perhaps hormonal therapy.

Today I went to a specialist in private practice for a second opinion. We had a little surprise. Perhaps I should thank God I went to her too. She saw another tiny spot a distance away from the lump on the same breast. She suggested removal of that little spot to check. We may go with NUH for surgery for financial reasons and in case of any further complications/treatment.

Please pray:

*the second spot is benign

*the pre-cancer cells are contained in that lump

*the pre-cancer cells are not found anywhere else in my body

*my body will be prepared for the surgery-strong and healthy

*recovery after surgery will be good and quick

*follow-up treatment will be effective

*prepare my family and members of the extended family for my surgery and follow-up treatment

*my family and our parents and siblings to be drawn nearer to God. I continue to pray for the salvation of my parents and my brother.

*I will still be able to homeschool john-this may seem irrational for some as it is as if I am taking this upon myself at a time when I am going through this. however I know that when God has convicted me to homeschool my children, He will provide, He’ll not leave me and my family in the lurch helpless. I know my God is faithful. I want to take this step of faith. Pray that God will also speak to hubby clearly on this issue. I pray for God to provide for us support in this area.

*we will still be able to consider better options for Li-Ann to help her fulfill her potential. Recently I spoke to a dad who has gone to US to seek other options for his son and he’s very satisfied with how his son is progressing. I’m ssssssooooo excited when I spoke to him. He’s really God-send 🙂 I hope to meet with his family to find out more.

*we will give any negative thoughts, any plans and any fears to the Lord-I was a little fearful but I was reminded in one of my devotions that the reason for my joy is that my name is written in heaven (Luke 10:20). Oh, that was great comfort to me. Pray that hubby will also find joy even in a situation like this.

*family members will have kind words to say-I was rather upset when a family member commented that even when I knew about the lump, I didn’t go for any checks and that since I’m educated, I should know what to do and what’s best. When we are HIGHLY educated, will we really know what’s best? I can’t be sure. Would we be another Nicodemus?

*God’s mercy and grace- God will preserve my life and I can continue to teach my children and serve Him here on earth. He will give me the strength and tenacity to go through the tunnel so I can see the Light. I know the Light is already there just that maybe I still gotta take a bend or two before I can see it, afterall light travels in straight lines. Although I know with optic fibers this may not necessary be the case.

*God’s provision for the needs of the family, especially babysitting the children on the occasions when I’m unable to be there for them. Good friends have come forward to offer help and I deeply appreciate your love. Thank you 🙂

*God’s protection on ALL of us-when I knew of the results, what came to me was-this is warfare!! Let me explain. As of now, hubby’s job is uncertain, that’s one. And he is the sole breadwinner. We have just got our application for john to be exempted from public primary school education approved and we are considering other options for Li-Ann. we are attacked in primarily 2 areas-1. Finances-my case and Li-Ann’s options will cost and if hubby’s job is not secure, then our finances will be drained 2. training the children-I’m the person who’s going to homeschool John and also to teach Rebecca and to help Li-Ann. so if I’m down, it may seem like we have to change our plans. And these are reasons that our family can use to persuade us to send john to school and later on Rebecca and to keep Li-Ann in Rainbow Centre. When I realise this, I felt calmer coz my battle is not that of the flesh (Ephesians 6:12). So I must quickly put on my armour. Pray that we will do that daily and to teach our children to do so.

I feel like Job. How will I respond when ‘I’ am afflicted? Will I still rejoice and give thanks? I know how God has allowed Job to be tested and how God was faithful to Job. I know He will live up to His name. I want to make the choice to rejoice and give thanks. If He has given me this thorn in my flesh, then I want to boast of this weakness.

A couple of weeks ago, I went for a seminar and was reminded of God’s faithfulness. While they are not new knowledge, I sensed that God is preparing me for tough times ahead. And I will have to go back to what I’ve learnt and draw on them. Isn’t God good? So when some friends asked if I was surprised by the results of the biopsy, I told them I was not really surprised. I know that God is breaking me down so He can mould me and use me for greater things. Let His will be done.

Please also give thanks:

*God is GOOD 🙂

*He is faithful

*He has given me His peace-Philippians 4:5-8

*He provided the information-the doctors and nurses were kind and told me what’s to be expected; even the specialist I saw was very pleasant

*He gave me comfort-I met an old secondary school mate whom I don’t know very well but we happen to find each other familiar. Her mom who was with her thought I was familiar too. Was I that prominent in secondary school?? Not that I can remember. She was very concerned and sympathetic when I shared with her. God knew I needed a friend. The lady who did my scan 2 weeks back also did my mammogram. She asked if I were from Bukit Panjang Methodist Church. She goes to the same church as me!!!!! And I didn’t even recognize her. Alamak!!! What have I been doing in church?? To have one who is a sister-in-Christ nearby is great comfort, what more someone from the SAME church. God is really really GOOD 🙂

*supportive hubby-he’s been trying to help me out so that I can get more rest and also to spend time with the children as much as he can. I thank God for a hubby who loves me so much 🙂

*I have time with the children to enjoy them. I need to learn to overlook what’s not important to focus on what’s important so I can teach them what God desires.

*good friends who share in my emotions and have come alongside to listen and to pray. Thank you so much 🙂

I’ll update when I can. Do pardon me if I’m unable to be on my email as often as I would like to be. So I may be slower to respond to your mails.

Ok time to go to bed 🙂

Good night 🙂


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