13 September 2008
I’ve been agonising for the past month over how to share with you accurately the joy and excitement that was in me. To the many who asked ‘How are you doing?’ I could only say ‘We are doing well.’ I felt so handicapped. But God has His plans.
First, picture Rebecca and Li-Ann in a Chinese music class with 3 other little girls. To help Li-Ann, I was also in the class. While she enjoyed the class, Li-Ann was generally rather reluctant during those 10 weeks. She would stick to me most of the time and prefer to observe quietly. After that, we could either continue with the teacher at her home or at a clan association where the teacher also teaches. We are not keen to go to the association as it is in Toa Payoh, it’s on a precious Saturday morning and parents cannot be in the classes with their children. That means I can’t sign Li-Ann up. While we considered, the teacher suggested a 3-week interim class at her home.
You know, when I saw that during the first lesson, I couldn’t believe my eyes! In my heart I was going ‘WOW! WOW! WOW! Is that my baby Li-Ann? My baby can do it!! You must see my baby!!’ I was so THRILLED! I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry but I know I wanted to jump to the nearest satellite to tell the heavens and earth that I’m so proud of my baby. I kept giving thanks to God for her spontaneity and willingness. She did as instructed and actively participated during the one hour. Before that, I had noticed that Li-Ann was more sensitive to music rhythms and would sing and dance more at home. She had also improved in her vocabulary and articulation of Chinese words. But I certainly wasn’t expecting that. The teacher told us that during class, Li-Ann kept saying ‘Daddy see me!’ The teacher was encouraged and curious about what kind of a daddy she has. I was touched by her innocence and simple longing for affirmation, although jealous at the same time that it wasn’t ‘Mommy see me!’ But that’s ok. We saw the fruit of Chee Meng’s investment of time in the children. I had to hug everybody, even the teacher so I wouldn’t explode with too much excitement. We actually went out for dinner that night to celebrate and give thanks. I then persuaded Chee Meng to document the second lesson, not knowing the Lord had plans for me to share in this manner.
To motivate and stimulate Li-Ann further, we felt it may be good to continue the lessons. We discussed about the objective and cost effectiveness – the teacher stays in Bishan. I had no answers but something tells me we should continue. The teacher suggested some plans but also tactfully implied that Rebecca’s progress may be hindered. I disagree. I feel what’s important is an attitude to serve and the desire to want to know more. As I asked God how I should talk to the teacher about my expectations, I felt prompted to ask the lady who introduced us to the teacher to pray. I hesitated as I want to talk to the teacher directly and not involve a third party. After two weeks of pondering and procrastination, I finally sms this lady. Out of curiosity, I asked whether she knows if the teacher is a Christian as I saw a cross in her house. She said the teacher is a believer but the family had not gone to church for a long time. The teacher told her that she was encouraged that in spite of my surgeries and treatment, I am still actively involved with my children, especially Li-Ann. This lady promised to pray and to call the teacher to chat about the lessons. Instantly, I knew why God wanted me to continue with the teacher. It’s not just for Li-Ann, it’s also for the teacher and her family. At that point, I also realized why I didn’t have the words to share earlier on. I learnt that the life that I live is not for me or for my children but for Him and for others. After this eureka, what God wanted me to do and say flooded my mind within the next few hours and until I took action, He didn’t give me rest.
Some learning points for us
– To obey God promptly as that’ll benefit us, not God.
– Fathers, no matter how busy you are, please find time to interact actively with your children. They may not tell you verbally they want you around, but they do.
– God loves our physical or spiritual children; although we know our children and have plans for them, He knows them best and we should seek His plans for them.
Please give thanks that
– God has put us in very loving and accepting communities.
– Li-Ann is doing very well.
– God was gracious and patient with me and told me how to share more effectively.
– Chee Meng’s role and presence as a father is being affirmed.
– The Lord is using our family to serve Him.
Please pray that
– God will guide me to find out more about Music Therapy.
– God will tell me how to pray for and share with the teacher.
– God will show me how to teach the children to pray and show love.
– My family will view the value and success of each activity in the light of Eternity.
Abba Daddy see me!!