1 February 2008
“GOOD NEWS!!! The scan results are normal.” The doctor reported with a cheerful spirit as I entered his room. I bet he was just as relieved as I was and could not contain his excitement. As I quickened my steps, shortening the 2-metre distance between us, I was reminded of God’s peace and faithfulness. He then told me that the blood test showed that the organs are doing well and even the abnormal figure for the kidney function could be explained – I was told to fast from 6am on the morning of the scan. So why the pain? He explained perhaps it was because I was falling ill. However, what was interesting was just as I was falling ill last week prior to the scan, my pain was getting better. Mysterious? Maybe. But the pain IS getting better and that is most important. Alamak!!! Maybe I’m getting old :(Oh no!!! But the doctor thought that my previous health checks results have been good and he allowed me to cancel my heart scan that was scheduled for next week. HURRAY!!!! I am FREE!!! I thank God that there’ll be lesser trips to the hospital. Except that I’ll miss the compassionate doctors and the considerate nurses there. Does that mean I have a clean bill of health? A friend asked. Oops!! I forgot to ask doctor that though – too happy lah. I’m not sure what the doctor will say. I do remember him telling me that there are imperfections in science and technology and therefore I believe there’s no way to know for sure if my body has been rid of the cancer cells. For now, I’m thankful that there will be NO MORE treatment and the doctors and nurses have done all they can to give me the best treatment to their knowledge. With this freedom, my hubby, my children and I will move forward.
Remember how I shared that I felt I was not quite ready to begin the year? Then we had gastric flu, hubby was, and still is, coughing, my mom had her surgery and I felt the pain at my side. As I reflected on these for the month of January, I learnt a couple of things.
a) Freedom for God
Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest; January 25) urges us to ‘make room for God to come in as He chooses’. That’s HARD for me to do. When I sent out the update asking for prayers for my pain, a couple of friends blessed me with homemade bread and meals, another who just came back from HK told me she could help should I need a ride or someone to run errands and the children are becoming more sensible. These were timely interventions and events as one friend, who used to offer me rides, had gone back to work and another dear friend, who had been faithfully sending us meals, has to take care of her mom who is in hospital. God also brought along a homeschool mom to fellowship when our sons are at tuition class. With my mom still recuperating from surgery, the sensible children are wonderful help. It’s awesome to see how the Lord provides when I allow Him ‘to come in as He chooses.’ I pray that I will keep my life ‘so constant in its contact with God that His surprising power may break out on the right hand and on the left.’
b) Freedom from Self (Rhonda Harrington Kelley – Life Lessons from Women in the Bible; Week 6 Day 5)
In John 4:5-50,39-42, Jesus met a Samaritan woman at a well, asked for water and then told her He could give her Living Water. In those days, women were considered to be greatly inferior to men. However, Jesus recognized her worth, ministered to her and offered her freedom from bondage, one of which was that of bondage of self – the burden of personal limitations and weaknesses. I thank God for His assurances and for giving me this freedom at a time when I felt so lethargic and inadequate. I had family members and friends reminding me to take things easy and not give myself too much stress. These loving reminders came almost everyday via phone calls, sms and email. I took things easy. School was slow. The children had more time to play. But after that, they settled down better for seat work. One day, John told me, with a determined gleam in his eye, that he wanted to do 20 pages of his English workbook. Rebecca was very happy to sit down to complete her abacus homework. Sweet Li-Ann would ask me, as I dry her after her bath, if she could draw or read. WOW!!! Such motivation!! I find myself enjoying the children much more. As we sit and spend time together, I secretly marveled at their big round eyes and counted their eye lashes. They are such adorable darlings. What a privilege to behold them daily.
God is so good. He took my sin. Now I am FREE. He’s so good to me 🙂