My Family

God of Big and Small Things

30 December 2006

Hi Friends

Happy New Year!!! WOW!!! It’s gonna be 2007 soon…in just a couple of days’ time. There will be the Big Bash and Countdowns. You joining in? I’m doing a bit of counting as well.

Of late I’ve been counting down the days/weeks to the end of my chemo. I’m so thankful that I’ve done my third cycle on 26 Dec for the first drug. Now I’ve got one more to go on 15 Jan 2007. Then it’ll be 12 weekly cycles of chemo of the second drug. The thought of all the needle pokes scares me. In fact the last round of chemo, they poked 3 times before they found a vein that’s cooperative. And that’s not inclusive of the blood test.

I’ve also been prompted to count my blessings for the past three weeks. I’m so amazed at the way God provides that I told myself I must share in detail, whatever I can remember.

1. Li-Ann got WALKING!!!!!! My baby is WALKING!!!!! When I saw her walked more than 3 metres that very first day, I wanted to tell, no SHOUT, to the whole world – MY BABY IS WALKING ALL BY HERSELF!!!!!!!  I’m so proud of her. Now she walks smaller steps and stop sometimes. She can even walk a distance with her hands behind her back. Talk about balance. She definitely has it!! Then she will walk around with her toys and wave bye-bye to us. So cute 🙂 She is also taking advantage of her new skill. We were at a book shop one day and she was walking here, there and everywhere and before we knew it, she would disappear from our sight. That our BEST Christmas gift this year.

2. We got new clothes. I had been concerned about clothes for the children. One was Rebecca’s pyjama pants. My aunty, a seamstress, came to visit n made her a nightie n 2 pyjama pants. I was initially disappointed as I wanted her to make long skirts for R. But later on, I was reminded that I NEEDED the pants, not the skirts. I began to give thanks. Another day, a friend gave a very new pair of shorts for R when I was fretting over her lack of shorts for going outdoors. Today another friend gave some hand-me-downs for Li-Ann. We also receive gifts that will be good for CNY too. PTL!!!

3. We got food. One day I was home with Li-Ann and I wanted to feed her early so she could take an earlier nap. But hubby was out with the older two to church and won’t be back till lunch time. My mom was going to bring over curry chicken but that’s not suitable for LA. Then my neighbour came by and gave me some brown rice porridge. That was more than enough for LA. In fact it was good enough for both girls. I was, and am still, so amazed. PTL!!!

4. We got good doctors. I must thank God for my doctor friend who did his very best to check how I can see this neonatal DS specialist in KKH. We found out that neonatal doctors usually see babies born in their respective hospitals. So I may have to go through a paediatrician at KKH and even then, there’s no guarantee I’ll see this specialist. So I made an appointment in Feb 2007, hoping to buy some time while thinking what I can do. Then I told God that if it’s so tough and if it’s not His will, then I’ll just stick with the general doctors in NUH. Just 5-10min after that prayer, a nurse from KKH called. She took note of the referral as usually DS children are not referred from the polyclinics. She was also wondering why I made the appointment for Feb 2007. I shared that I’m considering how to get a referral to the specialist. The nurse said the reason she called was that she spoke to the specialist herself and she is willing to see Li-Ann. HURRAY!!!! I was over the moon!!!! So I told her to get me the first available appointment and that’s on 5 Jan 2007. PTL!!!!

My very good doctor also thought that I’m doing very well ‘as if I’m not undergoing chemotherapy’. He cut my booster shots from three to two, to help me save cost. I appreciate that. Hurray!!!! One poke less!!!

Not sure if some of you remembered my dad’s eye doctor who gave me a first referral and indirectly helped me get out of NUH. My dad saw him a few days ago and my mom said the first thing he asked of them was ‘How’s your daughter doing?’ PTL!!!! I’m so thankful that my dad is under the care of such a caring eye doctor. My mom hopes to see him too. We are trusting the Lord for that.

5. We got good friends. I’m so thankful for all my friends. I’m so thankful for my friend who went with me for my chemo on 26 Dec, and chatted non-stop, and after that treated me to a delicious dinner. My appetite is VERY GOOD. So good that my doctor is reminding me again to watch my weight. Ok will do that. Promise to be a good patient. Our dinner also came with live music. He sang beautifully, even Mandarin songs. We also had excellent service as there were not more than 5 tables occupied that evening.  PTL!!!! Wanna know the name of the restaurant? It’s Casa Roma at Bukit Timah Road after Sixth Avenue. There’s live music only on Tuesday evenings.

My next chemo is on 15 Jan. A very good friend told me she go with me for my next treatment. PTL!!

6. There are kind people. On 26 Dec when I went for my chemo, it was super crowded after the long Christmas break. Many people had to wait longer for their blood to be taken and for their results. One lady was complaining to me but I must say she seemed more patient than many others there. When I was waiting for my turn for my chemo, I saw her and her friend again. She really waited half a day for her treatment. For me, I decided not to stress myself. So if I have to wait, I’ll just wait and since I’ve got company, time passes by a little faster. Finally it was this lady’s turn. A little while later, we realised we were the only ones waiting. Just at this time, this lady’s friend came out and told me that there were empty cubicles inside and she was wondering how come it wasn’t my turn yet. So I asked if she could check with the nurses. I was so thankful she came out to look for me because the nurses thought there was no one else waiting for treatment. God must have sent her to look out for me. PTL!!

7. We got good and generous gifts. Thank you for your gifts.  A couple of friends gave hats and one sent me colourful bandanas as she could not imagine me with my hubby’s hankies on my head. Hahahaha… She is so sweet. Many of you are very generous and I’m very touched. Thank You 🙂

8. We got a good part-timer. She stays in Yishun but because my friend and I stay in the same estate, she could clean our homes on the same day. At the same time, a family she worked for twice a week could afford for her to come only once a week now so she was able to slot in me. She also charges reasonably too. I’m so thankful for the help as my previous part-timers’ standards have dropped and they were rather pricey too. PTL!!!!

9. I got a good hubby. I’m so thankful that hubby’s company has forced shutdown from Christmas till New Year. This is the either the first or second time since he joined the company since 6 years back. I believe the Lord knows the needs of the family at this time. Besides it’s also a good break for my parents. So he’s been doing most of the things in the house including looking after the children, cooking and washing the bathrooms (when my part-timer fell ill on Christmas day). I must say he did an excellent job for a first-timer. Thank you dear 🙂

10. I got a good God. A friend shared that her mom accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour during Christmas. That’s wonderful news!!! In fact my mom, who has been joining my children and I for our worship, has also joined us in prayer. I’m so blessed that my own mom is praying for me. I pray for her to come and know our Good Lord. I want her to experience all the blessings I experience. I want to see her in heaven. And of course my dad and brother too. I pray for all good things to happen in His Perfect time.

You know, I used to trust God for BIG things like exams, job decisions, marriage plans etc and handle small stuff myself. For the past few weeks, as I saw how the Lord provided for all my needs, I began to ask myself: what are BIG things and what are the small things? Is it BIG because it is a major and expensive decision or I have less control? Is it small if I can solve it easily and won’t need much help? Recently I find that I’m relying on the Lord more and more because I know I’m unable. Period. With all the reminders to rest, I don’t even want to think too hard about getting food or even clothes for the children. I do feel terrible but because I can’t, I go to God. Then there’s the 12 weekly cycles of chemo which I’m praying for a friend to go with me every time. I know He will provide because He has proven Himself to be faithful.

God told me: while some things seem BIG and others small to me, everything is BIG to God. Everything about me is important to Him.

Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Am I underestimating God for small things? Or perhaps God is too busy for me? I would think I was too busy for God. He’s never too busy for me. He’s always there and He never changes.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Do you have something on your mind? Whether it’s BIG or small, bring it to His throne of grace and see His Hugeness and Faithfulness.

Only, keep your eyes focus on Him.


PS One more thing: I got NO nausea!!!! PTL!!!

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